01 December 2009

:: cherish d moments ::

Cherish the moments.
That should be d ultimate in one’s relationship….to my opinion. Because when d relationship is over, it’ll become memories. And memories are for you to keep…

You’re not supposed to regret memories.
Far even d relationships u had. That’s bad. There’s a reason why people are in ur life. There’s a reason why they stay. There’s a reason why they leave. And learning from those reasons makes you a better person. A better person for the future tat you don’t know yet.

A friend of mine just got her heart broken. Broken into pieces tat to this day I see she can’t stand on herself. She’s a mess. She’s a mess because maybe it’s hard to let go of the memories tat she had for years. She’s learning to walk again but it’ll take time for her to run. She’s helpless I think maybe cause she didn’t see it coming.
The break up. The break up tat she thot came from her partner but it was actually really coming from her. She didn’t realize it then and I still think she still hasn’t realized it till now. She keeps on blaming others but not herself. Honestly, I pity her. But no one can help her except herself. It’s like everything is too late for everything. From now and then she keeps going down tat memory lane trying to cherish the moments she had together but it seems every time those memories just turns into hatred.
Once upon a time they were the perfect couple but reality checked…she was not. At least not to d relationship. She’s telling d whole world that they ended up because of betrayal but the somehow d world seems to disagree at times. And for those times it hurts her badly. She smiles but the world knows it’s a fake one. You deserve to be broken maybe….for so many reasons. And one of it is because u didn’t cherish d moments u had…

A friend of mine just got her heart broken. Broken by someone that had her living a lie. Who knew tat when a person knock’s the door to ur heart she was bringing more pain instead of happiness. And she locked ur heart till u urself cant seem to even walk away from it? She had no control of her own life…it was like a make-believe relationship…and it was pain.
The first part of it was like almost too real…an instance glance made them smile at each other and exchanged numbers…the middle part of it was where everything slowly had a mix of feelings…and the ending part clearly made everyone see tat they’re not meant for each other but just cant let go…they cherished the moments I guess but maybe…for all d wrong reasons. Or maybe because the moments were really not from d heart. Confused over reality check and feelings tat they developed over just a couple of weeks…instead of developing love they’ve developed pain.
The break up. The break up was so suppose to be easy but concluded with so many issues in between made them suffer. At least my friend did. Curled up alone away from everyone she was weakening by d day. Poor darling…u were blamed upon everything didn’t u? And in return…too tired of d relationship had u too tired to argue. And the memories are haunting u like crazy aight? I so wish I could of help in some way but really it’s just a battle tat u have to face on ur own…you know deep inside tat person is not the one for u right? Honestly we can’t afford to loose u just like tat! So please please wake up and stand tall this time babe,ok?

A friend of mine just had her heart broken. Broken by the simplest reason tat no-one can argue about. A reason where no words would be appropriate to back her up. Moments she cherished just slowly faded away right in front of her eyes…imagine being happy for one moment and the next second u’re completely on ur own. I would say she’s like helpless cause of d fact she loss a battle without even going to war…she had to give in without even trying to think. Things suddenly went utterly complicated between them that she couldn’t even think!
The break up. The break up was….predictable. but the outcome from the break up was……unimaginable. Absorbing things and adapting self to the whole situation was one thing…and out of no where knowing something tat left her speechless was another! The scar she had…I think most probably would never ever heal…love turns into hatred. Not to the person but to the reason. Trying so hard to cherish every moment they ever went thru was so not helping at all...just cause. What went wrong? she didn’t know. And putting blame on others wouldnt really help also. So now…she sink it in…sinking it deep enough to move on. Sometimes she peeks just for the sake of reality check…and still wonders why….and still…she gains no answer.

A friend of mine got her heart broken. Broken when she least expected it…she never…like ever…saw it coming. Wateva she says seem like it doesn’t matter at all…at least not to the one she loves. She got confused. She did everything she could for the relationship….she sacrificed a lot…and she just stood there looking at the changes. She freezes. She didn’t move. I think she cant…eventho she wanted to. Her lips locked and sealed. She tried to talk but there was nothing she had no say. D relationship had shut her off. Just like tat…
The break up. The break up was full of tears. Each teardrop brought it’s own story. A story that maybe only they can understand. Why did it have to happen…or yet why is it even happening?? Gosh……it hurts tat much. I could see in it her eyes and hear it in her voice. Lotsa hugs babe…with hope ull get better in time. But that doesn’t really matter now…nothing matters now. Too hurt to crack a smile even…and too hurt to go through the day without thinking about each other. But it’s the path that u’ve decided…the path that u want to cherish in ur relationship. The break up that u think u want to have gud thots about….yeah rite…like thats ever gonna be huh? U knew so well this will happen and yet u let it be. Sometimes u gotta be cruel to be kind. Its just the best option..

It makes me think….love matters. It sure does make a lot of difference in ones life. Love makes memories. Usually the ones tat stays forever in ones life. Come to think of it…moments in life are the best when u love someone and being loved in return…by all means. Time is ur enemy…per say. U will never know just how much time u have left with each other…and for that reason alone…appreciate…or the least u can do is cherish d moments..

20 October 2009

:: a RAYA wit my BABES ::

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!

Sepatutnya the alarm was suppose to buzz off at 7am but then celik mata jer rupanya dah 9am! Erkkk!! Alamak!!!! Pagi raya dah nie…tengok hp,peluv pagi2 dah hantar msg raya ‘gud morning sayenggg’…hehe…serious tak sedar! For 5 mins terpinga2…tengok sebelah Ikha sedap je tarik selimut lagi. Alar dia pon dah snooze a few times…..wakey!wakey!gotta bake me granny a cake!

Terus2 je capai my tools kat dapur and started baking nenek’s favorite sandwhich cake…since I got hold of the recipe, every year mesti buat one for her, usually ada fruit cake jugak tapi not tis year…just one cake tis year. An hour later while the cake is baking, kejutkan Ikha and we pon bersiap2 la di pagi raya nie…

Baju raya tahun nie…mustardy-yellowy-goldish with small 2 flowers…kain best. Kain kasa. Sedap pakai…and macam biasa…baju raya baru…tapi mama punye! Haha! Still baju baru apa….sebab mama blom pakai lagi ehhh….

Tis year macam tak seberapa je nak celebrate raya…last year beriya betul…maybe mainly sebab Peluv ada. Tis year haruslah baju tak sedondon pon…sebab I think Peluv punya baju memang dah sedia ada siap kat kampong…hmmm….tak pe…Ikha’s baju tetap….meletop! Turquiose greenish-blue….tiap2 tahun (since I kenal dia), Ikha has got gud-tastes in her baju2 raya. Sendiri design kann….walaupon maybe tailor kene ‘tempias’ dia tapi baju tetap akan kelassssss nok…..

Yang peliknya…the 1st person to call me was my sista, Tia. Yelahhh…dia raya ngan papa kat kedah…hmm…dia sorang lak tue. Sambil beraya online sambil menangis. Drama pagi raya ada jugakkk…haiyohhh…comforted her a bit to ala2 hilangkan her stress then somewer before gerak kuar umah I had the chance to call up papa dulu. Beraya on d phone ngan papa was simple….a smile on tis end and a smile on d other end. Ayat duit raya mestilah ada jugak…lantak la umur brapakan? I am after all still his eldest daughter…mukekekekeke…shoot off balik kampong…………and we arrived 20mins later… Kampung Baru, KL…dekat je pon and KL x jem at all. Heaven siot Federal Hway pagi raya….smooth ride…..yeehaaa!

Umah nenek…half full. Adalagi clan yang blom sampai.
Bersalam-salaman….bermaaf-maafan…then bermakan-makanan lerrr…cari2 maksu rupanya dia dah hilang g kubur arwah atuk. Alamak! Ala2 terselisih…dia pakai baju raya apa pon aku tak tahu…cehhh…apa2 pon drama pagi raya dah berlaku pagi tadi…hehe…selamat! Phewww~ makan je bertambah sampai 2x lepas tu bersakan amik gambar! Sesapa ada kat umah nenek pagi tu…mereka lah yang sempat berposing…
Al-kisahnya tak kuasa nak lepak lama2….nenek, mama and my aunt n uncle gerak gi melawat orang meninggal. Innalillah…..sedara jauh sebelah arwah atuk. Meninggal masa tengah potong kek nak hiding for pagi raya. Dah sampai masa…time bile2 pon akan pergi jugak….yang tinggal kat umah nenek just all of us cosins…macam pasar tani bisingnye! Half hour later datang plak lagi satu clan….lagi kecoh! Anak buah si Aqila n Alia came satu family tapi sampai2 je tido plaknyer…ala…tak best la…dah kiut miut pakai baju kurung…tido!

Cukup time…..geraks!
Dengan harapan mula2 nak tunggu maksu balik from kubur…tapi harapan tinggal kenangan sebab makcik aku t uterus balik umah tido! Hampeh tul…..me and Ikha masuk kereta terus shoot-off to….keramat la! Wer else?
Dah sampai depan umah, masuk pelan2, baru call…’babe…kitaorang nak datang beraya…..nak masuk pintu depan ke pintu blakang?’…hehehe…yes…sambung makan umah Erin plak wehhh…lontong, kuah kacang, rendang, masak lodeh…yummy! Kembung perut nie…confirm! Erin…kitaorang makan, dia makan..kitaorang suap, dia pon ngap!..hehe..and tis is for d first time we babes duduk satu meja just us enjoying raya food bersama cerita2 sensasi masing2….perut dah kenyang…mulut dah stop menguyah…but the story continues dalam bilik cik Erin plak! Yelahhh…orang lain pon datang beraya jugakkan…hahahaha…galstalk paling best di pagi raya! I like very d much!!!! Huhu~

Sambung okay……kat Alexis plak! Bole?
Teringin pavlova masa raya…oh well…pavlova over a bunch of stories before we hit memel’s house plak! Obviously pot-pet-pot-pet non-stop….pause kejap..snap! snap! Snap!…..sambung pot-pet-pot-pet and we realized the last time we had tis fun of talking to each other was…’masa Tania baru2 ngan…’ said Ikha. OMG! Tat was like so 2yrs ago k! patut la best giler….hahahaha….

Pegi umah memel…..cik lah pon ada. Masuk2 terus gi dapur and makan lagi….confirm naik 2kg nie. Hehe…memel’s mom punya ayam masak merah…delicious menjilat jari tau! Rembat sampai 4ketul..hehe..erin belasah serunding while Ikha hentam home made kueh raya…tak hengat punya bedal….tak tengok kiri kanan! Tentiu memel…*burp!*

Headed back with a perut yang bloated….mama asked me to cook plak for her frens yang nak datang umah….aiyoyo! kelam kabut me n Ikha singgah ke Giant jap beli barang…konon2 nak masak mi hailam. lauk raya dah tak kick! Dengan berbaju raya jugak la kitaorang redah shopping for 15mins..berbaju raya berselipar Ikha’s..haha..ceritanya terpakai selipar Ikha is cause my kasut bole plak tertanggal tapak! Aduiii……nasib baik bukan kasut raya kalau tak mesti nangis…hmmm…sampai umah jer..’eh tak jadilah nia…kawan mama dah kenyang’…ermm..ye la..tentiu…lepak for a while with mama which end up about 2hours and saved by a call from Erin..

Guess wat?
Enough said…we babes sambung lepak til 5am kat Hartamas!!!! Best sangat!!! A raya with my babes….^clap^clap^

:: my day :: 190909 ::

Last week of Ramadhan like any other year….busy amat!
And particularly tis date cuz it’s d last day of pose….and peluv nak gerak balik kampong dah… yeah, tis year peluv tak beraya with me in KL. Me kene tinggal nampaknya….uhuk!uhuk! and tat’s y tis post is ere. I always tend to blog wheneva peluv is not wit me..

So….the night before we a had late night since kuar bersahur with ‘geng-kami’ kat Uptown..last jumpe before masing2 balik kampong! I manage to get some gud rest and sleep jugak to cover for d last day of baking which I know ill totally be outta hand…haiyohh…last min orders tetiba macam mencurah plaknye…orders of those yang around KL beraya….dah rezeki takkan nak tolakkan? Alhamdulillah…..

Bangun2 je ternampak batang hidung angah kat living room…awal plak dia balik umah?!? Excited nak balik kampong la tue!! Hehe…she looks thin…diet kowt…hehe..peluv decided to head back tengahari sket…since we got some more things to buy..and it hujan pon earlier tat morning…sempat je go last min shopping before they hit the road. We got for ayah a pair of new sandals and for Adam a pair of BEN10 sneakers…then by 12pm bsalam raya in advance and had my last muackks! kat forehead….awwwwwwww….peluv was leaving. Ive already sent out my prayers for a safe journey…and drama sket tue haruslah…I kan penyedih…cengeng…kememe…memang x sah kalo xde setitik-dua airmata…hehehe…kene tinggal! Sedih tawww!!!!

Half an hour later I started baking….and by the time Aimie came and pick up her orders kul 330ish macam tue…I started to have a panic attack! Ada plak barang yang x cukup!!!! Arghhhh….. tak pasal je kene kuar jap rush beli barang..! hampeh tul la!...and yet after that I had a few more cakes…tarts…cuppies lagik…rasa macam tak sempat nak berpeluh okay!...one by one Tania…u can do it! (pujuk diri sendiri punya kes!)…or it was more like u have to do it!!! Muekekeke…sebab esok dah nak raya kannn….tis year my option items ada macam2 compared to d years before which I only cater kueh raya n choc cake only..im a one woman show..so be it!!!

Petang sket Ikha sampai. Somewer timing for berbuka..best..best…ada kawan nak borak. Takde la stress sangat rasanya…oh ya….tis year Ikha beraya with me! For the 1st time dia tak balik Tg. Malim. She has her reasons and I respect ‘em….so to my advantage I have my babes close by! Yayyy!! Honestly, raya seems like just another day to me (and Ikha too kowt..) tapi tetap la disambut seadanyakan…baju baru tetap ada..kata suneat to wear baju baru on raya day..rite?

Well, back to my baking…tahu tak kul 1230am baru me settle siapkan sumer items ordered! Phewwww~ sakit pinggang sangat okay! I changed and we headec out for delivery. Nasib baik last2 orders nie are from gud frens…they didn’t mind sending lambat2…hehe…1st stop was Putrajaya that we reached about 1am-ish…and then staright to Danau Kota last item to Annie. Sampai2 je kat sana…makaihhh….(it was my first time plak tue)…ramainya manusia! Diaorang nie tak nak balik kampong ke? Kasi KL relax sket ker…macam semut ok orang punyalah ramai giler! At first ada la jugak berangan nak gi jalan2 kat sana tapi after 10mins tak dapat cari parking…we batalkan je niat tue..huhuhu! nasib baik kebetulan terserempak ngan Annie kat traffic light. Orders delivered and we shoot out from the place..hectic! we grabbed a bite jap…yes…at 3am kitaorang gi melantak Burger King…and it’s malam raya lagik! Hehehe…

Enjoying the time we had..headed home…sambung main FB jap the we both bedtime stories sampai terlelap….Esok Hari Raya uoalls!!!

06 September 2009

:: i have a life ::

excuse me sir....i have a life...dont u?

its always easy to say things rather than doing it right?
but then again...in which area of ur life NOW that i did wrong until i have to hear such insults?
i thought after going thru such various phases in life...we came to a deal of MYOB...

its true...mulut orang memang takleh nak cover. people talk no matter wat u do..or worse wat u dont do. i honestly dont know wat to think about these kind of people la...shud i hate them? or just pity them?..obviously ive tried to ignore them but tat hasnt been working. its like there's tis virus stuck in their head saying tat im a jinx..but apparently they maybe lupa to cermin their own comot self in d mirror!

im happy living my life...and tat makes u sick is it?
i have someone whom i call peluv who clearly loves me...and i so dearly loves back...
i have a new home...our home... :)
i have dothers...and just added another 5 more to our happy family...
i have great friends whom i know by heart...
i have a fantabulous life of my own...doing wat i do best...
and having all that suddenly i may have killed u?...like.... ALL of u??

seriously babe....i have other better things to do...rather that wasting my time and my oh-so-precious thots on wanting to know about u....damn it!!! bole x next year u people choose someone else to talk n hate about...can mehh???

oh well....i dont blame u..not any of u....after all...i have a life...dont u? *winks*

28 August 2009

:: my karma or urs? ::

Life is karma!
Hell yes I believe in it… ^_^

One thing ive learned over a series of unfortunate events is….jangan melatah…
Hehehe….just when u think life treats u well suddenly someone just suka2 nak drop a bomb-shell u know…and tis time instead of getting to fast to furious…I am sooooo gonna sit back, relax and watch how d game ends…

Ish..ish..ish…I told u its karma…once upon a time aku la yang keji..aku la yang kepochi…aku la yang xde keje….but look who’s talking now????
Think about it…at tis age dudes….u gotta be real?!?!?! Wat ure saying is so last season beb!!! Apa nie???? Pelik betul ngan perangai org2 yang sungguh tidak mengenali diri ini dengan bestnya membuat assumption yang ridiculous in my point of view…

To know me is to love me….tats y im called luvtanya.
Tapi orang2 ini mcm budak darjah satu…xkenal orang dah memandai-mandai….its 1malaysia nowadays la weiii…..grow d hell up! Let me tell u this ya….

First of all : I don’t give a damn!
Second of all : ada aku kacau hidup korang? Ada aku mintak duit korang? Xde kannnn…
Third of all: wat makes u think I hadap sgt with u..u..and u!
Fourth of all: who do u think u are?
Fifth of all: if ur life sucks…ive got nothg to do wit it…
Sixth of all: bawak2 la mengucap….dan bermaaf2an…life is short u know!
Seventh of all: nobody loves u? no wonder la….
Eight of all: don’t make me terpaksa put u in my studpido species list..
Ninth of all: incase u didn’t know…ure shallow..mind body n soul
Last of all: everyone has their own limit…including me…so stop provoking me people!

By all means…hate me as much as u want…ada aku kisah??
im happily ever after for wats coming to me now… and if korang toooooo jealous of me..(awwww!!!)…im sorry to say tis…but my life is wayyy tooo fabulous to include people like u in it! Muahahahahahaha……nahh…kidding! Its actually…id really love to be ur friend if maybe one day miracle happens….hhhaaahhh!!!

so like I said earlier….takmo melatah mcm org tua la k….things happen for a reason…terima seadanya semua kelebihan n kekurangan…kalo nak terasa dgn post nie…u know who u are…and oh…lupa nak pesan one more thing…don’t talk/write/spell in English if u cant get ur sentence/words right…it’s a matter of jokes to me and an embarrassment to u jer……take care!!! *winks*